One of my favourite ways to hang out with some of my friends is over a cozy cup of tea. We tend to favour chai, and it's usually a homemade blend one of us has concocted in our witchy little cauldrons... er.... on our stoves ;)
While brainstorming how I'd like to continue to offer up my energy, spread my light, and connect with readers and potential clients this year, I've had to consider future blog content. It's been a goal of mine to contribute to the development of "the village" in the physical/geographical area that I live in. I- along with a close group of girlfriends and colleagues in the birthing community- wish to encourage a tightly knit community of families where the support is more akin to the way villages used to function. It seems that although we're more aware of catastrophe, hardships, and heartbreak worldwide, (thanks to the media and growing technological power), we're lacking in the demonstrations of empathy. We're also lacking even more so in the practice of asking for and accepting help and support from our neighbours.
If a village can be nurtured fostered and encouraged physically, then of course one can virtually as well. Blogs develop regular readers, at least that is the goal of those who write them. These audiences can surely in turn be a means of conversation.
Enter the virtual tea date! I'd love to invite you all to a virtual tea on a regular basis. Let's chat and get to know one another. Let's share what's going on in our lives, let's perhaps shed some light in the darker corners of our minds and connect our hearts. Let's create a village!
So, what's going on? How've you been?
Life's been a little bit of a whirlwind over here! I gave birth to my third child six weeks ago. She's as chill as they come, blending right in better than I ever could have imagined. Really, I should have known since she was a very chill fetus in utero. So much so, actually, that many times I let my anxieties run wild with concern that something wasn't right since she was far less active than her siblings before her were.
So that doesn't sound like a whirlwind, I know. "A relaxed, easy baby? Oh how difficult that must be for you!"
Amidst the postpartum period was the holiday season. And with the holiday season came GERM season in full force. Despite shutting ourselves in and tacking a note to our front door instructing visitors to please (pretty please) hand wash upon entering, we were still hit like a capsizing boat. And ohhhh baby, did we ever go under. First there were your usual seasonal colds and sniffles, but with a newborn that can feel anxiety inducing. Chill-Baby actually did pick up some cold-germs, actually, which resulted in congestion and a rather intimidating cough. Then came the flu-y stomach bug. THEN came a particularly long, drawn out, and scary pneumonia that had my middle child in the ICU unit of a children's hospital. She was kept over an hour away from where we live, adding considerably to the complicated stress.
I am SO GRATEFUL for our boat being taken under in such a storm. Endlessly, truly grateful. I've found myself reflecting on this gratitude many times over the last week.
May I refill your tea?
I need to explain here that a pattern I recognize within myself is an inability to ask for or accept help. I actually set out to write a blog post about this very topic a few weeks ago. Amidst writing a draft, my internet browser shut itself down three times, losing much of my work in the process. By the third time I was so irritated (and really, I could use MUCH stronger wording), that I gave up. I figured it was a sign that the post just wasn't to be, though I see now that I wasn't in the right place yet to write it-- I hadn't had the experience of my ship capsizing. (An astrologer friend of mine also pointed out Mercury Retrograde at the time, surely another contributing factor!)
So how could I possibly be grateful for such a sh*t storm of experiences?
Well, because they brought so much Love and ultimately Light into my world. As every experience is able to do for us, if we let it.
I learned that I have a support system of such caring, amazing individuals that is further reaching and stronger than I ever could have imagined. I learned that I am deserving of that love. I also learned that I am capable of asking for help and support, that I can be vulnerable and I will be loved and held up in the face of it all. I realized that I've been building and creating a village without being aware of it! I suppose this realization is so huge to me because I've always felt like a bit of an outsider, a bit of a black sheep in many ways. Even amongst communities in the past- communities of incredibly kind people- I've not necessarily always felt I fully belonged.
I was reminded that I can be strong, brave, and terrified all at the very same time. And that it's okay to be strong, brave, and terrified all at the same time. I was reminded that ultimately the experience of Love will stamp out the Fear, and that it just takes some deep breaths and a willingness to be grateful for the shreds of Light shining in the darkness.
I learned that I can trust the conventional medical world when it's really needed. This is another big pattern of mine- a fear and a mistrust of much of the medical world. Another blog post, another time. Let me just quickly say that I mean no disrespect to the pharmaceutical/medical community, I know that there are times and places for everything.
I was reminded of the amazing team that my partner and I make, and that when we're faced with a challenge we're capable of pulling each other up out of the thick of it.
I was given the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is: Faith in the unfolding of the Universe. Blind trust that no matter if I can't see it in the moment, everything is happening as it should, I am where I am meant to be. That there are lessons and Love in every single experience, even the ones that at first glance we might wish to bypass.
Driving back and forth from the hospital, I found myself re-playing the words, actions, and offers of generosity extended my way. I found myself crying grateful tears moreso than ones of frustration or fear. I found myself facing the reality that it was possible to sit in the scary unknown-- one that involved someone that I love more than I love life itself-- and that I didn't have to be completely overwhelmed with lower energy emotions. I also realized that in the moments of being in the lower-energy, I could do a few things: I could lean on my village, I could let myself be okay with the experience and trust that it would pass, and I could think of something to be grateful for.
Life in the physical is pretty terrific for providing such insight!
What about you? How's 2016 started off for you? Any lessons so far? Do you feel you have a village, and if so, was there a moment that you became most conscious of it? I would LOVE to hear from you.