The Gifts of Grief: Sadness as my Super Power
I've been giving much thought to grief lately.
How it shapes us. How it marks our inner landscape. How it moulds and melds our perspectives, our memories, our choices. And, ultimately, our actions.
As I approach the anniversary of my mother's passing this month, and as I bear witness to much suffering in the world: both on a micro scale close to me, and on a macro scale, I give thought to how grief is such a double-edged sword.
We typically think of grief in response to a loss. It is the byproduct of something or someone dear to us physically being ripped from the fabric of our being, our existence, our exchange with the world around us. (This ripping is done by either ourselves or by forces beyond our control).
It shifts who we are, this grief. Forces us to think in ways we never thought before, to consider life as we never had to before.
Grief feels as if a part of us is taken, is gone, never to be replaced. And in a way, that is certainly true.
Grief is the deep recognition of Oneness, on one level.
It's the part of us that remembers we are interconnected. And when a part of us transitions to the next realm, the next world, the rest of us must shift, adapt, and learn a new way of being.
Of course, grief moves into our hearts on more than one occasion, by more than one cause. It is the byproduct of more than just the physical passing of a beloved soul. It is the byproduct of ANY required shifting and adapting to a new way during and following a transition.
The reality is that death is not an end without a beginning. When one passes, when a relationship passes, when a phase of life shifts into another, something comes to an end as we know it. But with that end comes a new way of being with that energy. There is a turning of tides.
The parts of us that have transitioned- the beloveds, the relationships, and so on- they're still a part of us, just in a new way now. And it can be painful to learn to be with this new energy, yes. But there is much wisdom and love there when we are ready to see, feel, and know it.
This sadness is my super power because it softens me.
At first, there is a crusty shell, a wall, an attempted means to protect myself from further loss and hurt. But when it dawns on me that this wall does not protect me from further hurts- but rather keeps me from truly feeling the new energy that the transition has afforded me- then I slowly (and sometimes swiftly) break that wall down.
I feel into the tender softness. I allow it to inform me of my strengths and wisdom and beauty.
I let the messiness and challenges and rawness breathe.
I feel into the Universe where others are grieving, and I hold their hearts with Love and tenderness and compassion. I hold space for them to erect their own walls and I hold space again when they're ready to take them down.
I remind them of their strengths, wisdom, and beauty.
I remind them that sadness is their super power, too.
Reminding you of your strengths, wisdom, and beauty, your many super powers.