Creating from Fear
Sometimes, there is a fixation on what will be, where we're going, what might happen... What will "they" think? What should I do? What am I meant to do? What am I meant to be? What's my path?
Who am I?
The future. Or, more specifically, a fear of the future.
Fear in all of its myriad of faces-- paranoia, anxiety, paralysis, scattered-ness, forgetfulness, anger, frustration, apathy... There are so many!
I don't know about you, but much of the time when I become worried about the future, I tend to become quite scattered. I lose focus and take to multi-tasking. It's as if by keeping busy, I think I might be able to out-run whatever it is I am afraid of.
As the pressure of multi-tasking- but not actually accomplishing anything- builds, I become increasingly agitated. It's as if I am moving, moving, moving, but getting nowhere. I'm not actually moving in a forward direction.
Someone once observing this pattern of mine pointed out to me my fear of making a decision and going with it. "You're afraid of failure." He called me on it, point blank. My perfectionism streak was showing. "But by not making a move anywhere, you're failing anyhow."
This fixation on what might be, the possibilities of what might go "wrong," the agonizing over what others may think... They're all a dreamscape we create in our minds. Or rather, the Ego creates.
Nothing great ever came out of creating from being stuck in fear. Nothing empowering, nothing gorgeous, no expression of the multitude of Light that we all are.
This is not to say that we can't own Fear, that we can't acknowledge it, invite it to dinner, and dare I say have gratitude for it?
I know my strength when I own my weakness.
I feel my Love when I first acknowledge my judgements.
I experience my light when it shines out against my darkness.
When in a place of fear- and aware of it- I can stop and consciously make the choice to climb up and out. Or at least make a plan for it. A prayer for it. Express my desire for the shift.
From fear, I can be catapulted to my greatness. And from there, see the greatness in all others... even when they cannot see it themselves.
And so it goes. We shift from the fear and we inspire others to do so as well.
From there, we create empowering, gorgeous, expressions of the multitude of Light that we all are.