Teaching from Patience
I see it so often, these flurries of rants, angry "shares," frustrated and exasperated articles illustrating one-sided points of views and arguments.
We want others to know our viewpoint, and get why it's the way to go.
We want to teach, share, illuminate.
"Sweet One," I hear, "Illumination comes from a Light source. Not a fear-based way of being."
When we speak from anger, from fear, from frustration, we aren't really teaching.
Sometimes, in the heat of a moment, our reaction may be necessarily abrupt. Say my child ran out into the road without looking. My initial reaction is most certainly going to be an outburst. But isn't my child going to learn more from the rational explanation or conversation to follow? I don't know about you, but I tend to listen to someone when they're willing to be patient rather than when my first instinct is to get my back up.
We're being called to really listen. With compassion. With empathy. With patience.
There are many lenses through which this world is seen. And contrary to how we may feel, our lens is not the only one, nor is it without a doubt the right one. "Right" is a label, a subjective label at that.
I am being shown my tendency to feel impatient when others don't resonate with what I feel is an obvious opportunity for growth and expansion at the heart.
For example, when I am not living the day to day with my young children at home, and when I am not writing or working on readings and offerings here at Roots for Wings Healing, I work part time in birth work.
I have some very strong opinions around a woman and family's rights and empowerment during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period. My opinions may clash with some who are more of the mindset of "just do what the doctor says." Admittedly, I sigh inwardly when I hear stories involving what I perceive to be misinformation, lack of informed decisions, or poor support.
Here is what I am coming to understand: these are my lessons in patience, compassion, and empathy. Perhaps another learns their lessons, finds their way, evolves their soul best, by making decisions that aren't resonate to mine. Here, I am best off to breathe and when a judgement arises, remind myself that this particular set of choices are not mine, that this is not my journey.
My journey is one of choosing empathy and patience. Sincerely, rather than in a "poor them, if they only knew," flavour. Because their is a difference.
I am also very quick to be hard on myself when I find myself to be in the mindset of judgement. When I catch myself sighing inwardly and clucking my tongue. "Who am I to be so critical and superior!?" And down rains the self-judgements.
The truth, Sweetness, is that oftentimes when we judge, it is because we want what is best for those we care about. It is from a perceived state of love that we push our expectations and views on another's lap.
I want every woman I know (and don't know, for that matter), to experience the glorious, crazy power of their body in natural childbirth. Because for me, it quite literally shifted the way I was living, I assume that every woman would benefit from such an experience.
Maybe they would. Maybe they wouldn't.
Really, who am I to say?
I can want what is "best" for every birthing mama, every baby, and every family out there. I can come from what I see as Love, and share my knowledge, my experience, my beliefs. But if my insight isn't desired, or if a family chooses another way that resonates with them, or if their birth goes down a different road entirely, then I have to accept that it unfolded in the best way possible for that family for reasons I may not always be able to see.
Their lessons are not less than mine simply because their choices don't resonate with me.
We get into so much trouble as a species, as a family of beings that share this planet, when we fail to recognize that first and foremost we need to operate from patience and compassion.
It is in our best interests to breathe and shift ourselves to see- even momentarily- through the eyes of another. It is in our best interests if we can find the perspective of Trust. Trust that everyone is doing the best that they can with the information and knowledge that they currently have, and the compass from which they operate.
Tuning into that inner compass, that inner voice, that heart, we can never go wrong. From that space, we can lean into the energy that we're being lead to the lessons we most need to learn. As is everyone around us.
This, my dears, is Real Love. Unlike the perceived love masking judgements and expectations.
So, from here, I bow deeply. I acknowledge with reverence your journey, your choices, your heart. My only wish is that you still yourself long enough to listen to your own inner compass within the depths of yourself. The one that beats to the rhythm of Love and your own special evolution. The one that knows your path and whose only aim is to reverberate with the purity of who you really are and who you came to be.