What I Struggle With Most as a Psychic Medium Healer
It isn't what you might expect.
Crazy sounds out of nowhere.
Seeing things I perhaps don't want to see.
Visions that have me doing pretzel-like-poses with my brain trying to decipher them.
My kids' night-wakings.
Having to be loving and compassionate when my Ego really wants to just snap-- in other words, being conscious and doing what I know to be right even when it's sometimes hard.
Turning the other cheek.
Dealing with expectations for free readings.
Being laughed at.
Saying the hard things.
Going against the grain.
These are all true. They're not always so difficult to do, but I would be lying if I didn't say that at one point or another, I shook my fist at the Universe for having to walk that walk.
What I truly find the most difficult, for the most part, is reconciling what I know to be true about our journey as uninterrupted Energy with what to say when someone I love is grieving over a Loved One.
In other words, I struggle more now with what to say to a bereaving friend than I did before I consciously began connecting with Spirit.
Sounds a little backwards, right?
There are many reasons for this though.
The first being that I understand that everyone has their own journey, their own sets of beliefs, and their own way of processing. It would be insensitive and unfair of me to step in and say, "Hey, don't worry, I know your mom will be back to visit. She just stepped into the other room, so to speak."
When you are grieving the transition of your Loved One from one form to another, hearing that they'll be back might not be helpful. At least not when the grief is fresh. You're mourning. You're feeling lost and wish to feel the flesh and bones of your Loved One. You want to see them. With your physical eyes.
You are feeling angry/confused/resistant to the change, and I get that.
I still crave to feel my mom's physical arms around me and to breathe in her scent. And at times like that, I just need to feel that way. Telling me her energy is present is just not the same thing.
Further more, not everyone believes that the afterlife exists in the same way that I do. Or perhaps the Loved One didn't during their time in the physical. Pushing my belief or what I feel to be true onto someone during a painful time is not helpful. My job as a medium is not to prove myself to anyone. I am simply the conduit for Spirit, the delivery system. When "off the clock," it's not my job to convert folks unless I am invited or called into a conversation. Even then, I'm not interested in proving myself, proving Spirit, earning approval. That all feels like Ego to me. That's the way I see it, anyhow.
The journey to healing, acceptance, and peace for anyone is their own. It may be facilitated and supported by others, but the work is done by the person healing. This is true no matter what you're healing from. You can see a medium, a shaman, an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, a doctor, and they can prescribe or do treatments. But the intention to heal, the desire to heal, and the homework must be done by you, the client. Everything exists energetically first, and so a treatment only ever has the chance of being effective and lasting if the one receiving it believes it to be possible and puts their own work into it.
So what do I do when faced with a grieving friend or acquaintance?
I do what any other compassionate and loving person does.
I give hugs.
I patiently listen with an open ear (and heart).
I send my best energy out- being conscious to clear myself of my own pain energy and concerns first.
I offer any help I may be able to provide- meals, babysitting, house chores, errand-running.
I am careful to share any words of wisdom without overstepping boundaries in the healing process. In other words, I don't offer my guidance or advice, I don't channel or tune in, unless I am asked.
If Spirit happens to come forward with a message, I ask first if I may share a message.
Transitions are hard, even for those who are cognizant that life here isn't the be-all and end-all. Humans are resistant to change, and we crave what feels familiar and safe. Being compassionate to that is the key to supporting anyone through grief and the loss of someone they love dearly.
Empathy is powerful stuff: putting yourself in their shoes can go a long way to preventing you from saying something that might seem helpful in the moment, but might actually feel insensitive to those on the receiving end.
Timing is everything. Understanding that there is an ebb, flow, and unfolding to grief and transitions can also help to contribute to the understanding that support and love are accepted and received differently at different times along that pathway.
My Love to all who are and will experience the paralyzing and heaviness of loss and grief. As you find your way through the maze of adjusting to life being different, know that you are surrounded by the love and kindness of so many. May you lean into that love and call on it when you are in need of it. Your heart, though tender, shattered, and beaten, has the opportunity to be all the more compassionate and open on the other side of it all.