Self-Care, Shmelf-Care

What a marketing term, “self-care.”

So many industries have really latched onto these words so that they can sell you what you “need” in order to “treat” yourself. Because you’ve “earned” it. Or better yet, you’re approaching burn-out and you’re nearly at your limit of giving and going and doing.

So you’re desperate. You need to take the edge off, you need to escape, you need to calm yo ass down.

But what if taking care of yourself wasn’t a treat but a part of every day life, a part of your routine? What if you didn’t need permission, or excuses, or expensive chocolate at the end of the day? (Though no one is knocking good chocolate here!)

What if you didn’t need to justify yourself by first half-apologetically (or defensively) saying, “I’m going to go take a bath.”

Woman! Heal thyself!

Don’t let your “duties” eclipse the reality that you’re not a robot. Taking care of yourself and putting your oxygen mask on first doesn’t make you less of a wife or a mom or a top-performing employee.

In fact, taking care of yourself DAILY without asking permission or justifying it is an act of self-respect and boundary setting. It energetically says to the world around you, “I am worthy of respect and living a life of joy and abundance.”

Once you set your boundaries via doing something for you before you are burnt-out, snapping, and in melt-down-mode, watch how the world around you transforms. The people in your life will be more apt to respect what you say and do. Because when you show that you love yourself, it is only natural that you’ll be capable of sincerely extending that energy outward, as opposed to begrudgingly or automatically acting to just receive love or praise back.

Self-care doesn’t have to be about making over-due reparations to your nervous system, body, mind, and soul. It doesn’t have to always be an escape via numbing out with insert your addictive vice of choice here.

If practiced regularly, the healthiest of self-care actions prevent us from feeling the strong urge to escape our day-to-day.

There is nothing wrong with, for example, the odd glass of consciously consumed wine. Or that delicious chocolate. However, if you’re habitually downing anything at the end of your day or week because you’re frayed and exhausted, that is likely a sign you need to address your self-care routine. Self-care is an invitation to be in full awareness of yourself and what your inner-intuition is telling you. That can’t be done if you’re repeatedly running, numbing, or drowning your stress with “guilty pleasures.”

So, hit up your yoga mat with a friend, alone, or in a class. Go for a walk. Grab that cup of tea and a journal. Close your eyes and partake in some deep breathing. Ask your Heart what it really needs to tell you and then listen. EVERY DAY. No justifications necessary.

And then maybe have some of that chocolate, with your heart wide open and speaking to you. After all, chocolate is best shared when in really good compan

Laura Biddle (RYT 200) is a KRI certified Kundalini Yoga teacher who wears many hats! Her passion is to help others to recognize the habitual stories we tell ourselves that keep us stuck in limited patterns of fear and reactivity. She believes deeply in our interconnection and capacity for limitless joy and creativity. For more from Laura, visit